Recently, I read a news article about how text messaging has influenced dating, and more specifically initial contact between two people who met and exchanged numbers. Text messaging is like a cushion for getting rejected. Instead of that first phone call possibly ending in a terribly awkward way, people can now send a witty, flirty, but not too long message and if the response is flirty then it is a go, but if the response is apathetic then move on. Text messaging allows people to be open to the possibility of a new relationship with minimal risk to their feelings.
How is this related to China, you ask? It is relative because Chinese people are crazy about text messaging. It is also relative because before I went back to America in January one of my adult students asked me for my phone number. It is not unusual for students to ask for my number and I thought nothing of it. He sent me some bland text messages once or twice before I left, but I hadn't heard from him since I came back. Until this week. He sent me a "How are you" kind of message on Sunday, the day after I got back from my visa trip to America. Then he sent me another one on Monday. This is how our text conversation went:
Him: How is it going?
Me: Good, but I am still very tired from traveling.
Him: How are you today?
Me: It is a good day. How are you?
Him: I am ok. What do you think of me?
Me: I don't really know you that well, so I don't know.
Him: En, may I be your boyfriend?
Me: I don't think that is a good idea right now, we don't know each other very well.
Him: Sorry. Have a good night.
Poor guy. Since I read that article though I don't feel too guilty about rejecting him. No doubt it would have been devastating to him had it happened in person, but luckily it was over text messages.
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5 comments:
I am so glad you told me about the text function on skype. Now I can text you harassing things anonymously! :) mwahahaha.
Come back. I miss you.
Try to avoid generalizing a people and culture as diverse and plural as the Chinese. For instance - "the Chinese yell a lot," "Americans should not be stick figures like the Chinese," "the Chinese don't have good listening skills."
Whether these be "good" generalizations or not-so-positive, they will limit your understanding of and connection to individuals, simply because they are not accurate when applied to a country as large and diverse as China.
I learnt this the hard way, after falling into the same trap, and "exoticizing" west Africa and applying broad strokes to the people and culture after living there.
Great work on the blog! Cheers. -SG
I love your generalizations. People from other countries generalize America all the time. I don't see the big deal.
Generalizations and exaggeration is what makes this kind of writing entertaining. I am quite aware that not all Chinese are stick people, etc., etc., but I am quite comfortable with most of my generalizations seeing how all of my Chinese friends agree with me.
Kali, as long as you are aware you are making these generalizations for "entertainment" and that individuals are different, I suppose you will stay connected to reality. But the value of these sweeping brush strokes is dubious, and you will lose some readers I think.
Whether Chinese people agree with your generalizations, is not relevant. Try coming to Harlem, NYC, and complaining about "nigga runnin on colored people time" and see what happens to you in short order :) even though you will hear that generalization often, within the Harlem community. The Chinese understand themselves, you are a curious outsider, there's a difference. Not respecting the difference will short-change your own depth of understanding of the people (individuals), and you will lose Chinese friends eventually.
-SG
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